I kept my own work in a closet. Sketches on napkins. Poems written in the notes app at 2 a.m. Polaroids of boys I was too scared to kiss. Crumpled, hidden, gathering dust.
The first piece is called First Touch . It’s not a photograph. It’s the ghost of a feeling—the electric shock of a hand on the small of my back at a bar. The way my spine turned to liquid mercury. The way I leaned in instead of running away. You can’t see it. You have to feel the warmth still radiating from the canvas.
At the very back of the gallery, in a small, softly lit room, is the piece I’m still working on. It’s called The Future . There’s no image yet. Just a blank, primed canvas. Sometimes I stare at it for hours. Some days I want to paint a marriage license. Some days, a photograph of a child with my eyes and his smile. Other days, just a door—open, with light pouring through. gallery gay blog
Next to it is Domestic Bliss , a small, quiet watercolor. Two mugs on a counter. One says “Daddy” ironically. The other is just chipped blue ceramic. A cat sleeping on a pile of laundry. A text that says, “Pick up bread?” It’s the most radical painting in the whole gallery. Because my grandmother told me I would die of AIDS, alone in a hospital. Instead, I’m arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Boring. Beautiful. Revolutionary.
So this is my blog now. Not a diary. Not a manifesto. An invitation. I kept my own work in a closet
Now, I think of it as a gallery.
I used to think of my life as a timeline. A straight line, actually—the kind they drew on the chalkboard in health class. You’re born, you go to school, you marry a woman, you buy a house with a lawn, you die. Simple. Beige. The path was so narrow it gave me blisters. Polaroids of boys I was too scared to kiss
Coming out wasn’t a single event. It was the slow, agonizing decision to unlock the gallery doors, kick down the closet, and start hanging my own work on the walls.
And then, maybe, go build your own gallery.
Come walk through my gallery. See the boy I was. Meet the man I’m becoming. Laugh at the glitter. Grieve the dark paintings. Stay a while in the quiet room where two mugs sit on a counter.
Walking into my own gallery for the first time was terrifying. Because for thirty years, someone else had been curating the show. My parents hung the family portraits. My teachers installed the dioramas of “normal” futures. The church mounted a giant, gilded painting of a man burning in a lake of fire, labeled Consequences .