“I hate this timeline,” he muttered. Turns out, demonic pregnancy is not like human pregnancy. There is no gender reveal party (unless you count the one where Lilith sneezed and accidentally turned my toilet into a portal to the 5th circle of Hell. It was a boy, by the way. We named him Damien. She wanted ‘Mephistopheles Jr.’ I put my foot down.)
The wedding was a nightmare of gothic splendor. My groomsmen were three imps who kept stealing the rings. Lilith wore a dress of shadow and starlight. She walked down the aisle to a dirge played on human femurs. The officiant was a rotting corpse who kept forgetting my name. When it came time for the kiss, Lilith whispered, “If you ever leave me, I will hunt you across every plane of existence.”
Except for the tiny, delicate horns curving back from her temples. They were obsidian, flecked with gold. “I hate this timeline,” he muttered
Damien can levitate blocks. He’s also learned how to unlock the child-safe latches on the cabinets. He refuses to eat anything that isn’t shaped like a dinosaur. Last week, he turned the cat into a small, furry cube. The cat was fine after an hour.
“You’re the only one here not pretending,” she said. Her voice was a low, gravelly purr, like a vintage motorcycle engine. “No aura of desperation. No pleas to Asmodeus for a promotion. Just… calm. Stupid, blissful calm.” It was a boy, by the way
Never have a baby shower in Pandemonium. The gift registry included a crib made of petrified fear, a onesie stitched from the wings of fallen angels, and a pacifier that doubled as a soul-trapping device. My mom showed up. She brought a hand-knitted blanket and asked Lilith if she was “getting enough iron.” Lilith cried for six hours. They’re now best friends.
“Leo – You snore. It’s cute. Don’t call me. I mean it. – L” My groomsmen were three imps who kept stealing the rings
She was tall. Not supermodel tall— intimidating tall. Hair the color of a raven’s broken dream, cut into a jagged bob. Skin pale as fresh parchment. Lips that looked like they’d been stained with blackberries. And her eyes… they were the exact shade of a shallow, sun-drenched sea—turquoise, warm, and utterly, terrifyingly human.
Damien was born at 3:33 AM on a Wednesday. The sky turned blood red. The bakery downstairs started producing cursed croissants. And Lilith, my beautiful, terrifying, pregnant demon princess, squeezed my hand so hard she broke three of my fingers.