The first time I saw Sasha, she was laughing at one of Mark’s terrible puns. Mark, my best friend since we got detention together in the ninth grade, had a superpower for mediocrity. He was a good guy, but he collected hobbies like stamps—half-finished guitar riffs, a sourdough starter that died in a week, a sudden passion for woodworking that left him with a chisel wound and a pile of splinters. Sasha was different. She was a lit match in a room full of unlit candles.
Sasha and I have been together for three years now. Mark comes over for dinner. He's engaged to the CrossFit girl, who makes excellent kale salad and laughs at his new hobby: unicycling. Sometimes, I catch Sasha looking at him across the table, and then she looks at me, and that old silent language returns. But the whisper has changed. Now it says: We made it.
I didn't run to her. I gave it a month. I told myself it was respect. But really, it was cowardice. Then I saw her post on Instagram: a picture of a half-finished phoenix tattoo on a blank canvas, the caption: "Some things have to burn before they can fly."
I sat on his dirty laundry pile of a couch. "It's about Sasha."
"I've been seeing her."
He paused the game. His face was unreadable. "Yeah?"
The first kiss happened in her truck, parked under a buzzing streetlight. It tasted like cheap beer and honesty. It was terrifying not because it was wrong, but because it felt like the first right thing I’d done in years.
"Honestly?" he said, squinting at the screen. "I was wondering what was taking you so long. She always liked you more, anyway. She used to laugh at my puns like she was laughing at a car crash. With you, it was real." He shrugged. "Just… don't screw it up like I did. And for the record? You owe me a new sourdough starter."
I messaged her. Not "Hey, you okay?" That felt cheap. I sent a picture of my forearm, a small, stupid stick-and-poke I’d done in college of a wobbly star. "Need a professional," I wrote. "Heard you're good with fire."
He was playing a video game, barely looking up. "What's up, man?"
My friend's girlfriend became my girlfriend. But only because she was never really his to begin with. She was just waiting for the right match to be lit.
For a long, terrible second, his jaw tightened. I saw the flash of betrayal, the instinctive punch. Then, something weird happened. He exhaled. His shoulders dropped. He picked up a controller and tossed it to me.
