I saved. I quit. I deleted the NSP from my SD card. But the icon stayed on my home menu for three hours. And when I finally went to sleep, I dreamed I was embalming myself.
The first body was easy. Mr. Henderson. Cardiac arrest. I drained the blood, filled the cavity, closed the Y-incision. But when I turned to log the formaldehyde level, the tablet flickered. A message I didn’t type: “He has your mother’s cough.”
Five stars. Never playing again. The Mortuary Assistant is out now on the Nintendo eShop. Download if you dare. And if the game asks for your blood type… lie.
You needed a night shift. You got a nightmare. The Mortuary Assistant Switch NSP -eShop-
I heard a locker slam in the hallway behind me. Not in-game. In my actual hallway. The cat arched. The Switch vibrated once—a low, guttural pulse that didn’t match any controller rumble I’ve felt before. The screen displayed a single line of text:
The game doesn’t let bodies move. I read the patch notes. They don’t move.
“Don’t look under your bed.”
I laughed nervously. The cat stared at the bathroom door. It was closed. I don’t have a bathroom connected to my living room.
Welcome to River Fields Mortuary. You are the new assistant. Your duties are simple: receive the deceased, log their belongings, perform the embalming, and file the paperwork. But tonight, the morgue is restless. A client has arrived with no name, no cause of death, and eyes that follow your every move.
Night shift rules: check all six coolers. Identify the host. Burn the correct sigil. I opened Cooler 4. Empty. Cooler 5. A child. Cooler 6. The body I’d already embalmed—Mr. Henderson—was back inside, still wet with my incisions. Except his mouth was open now. Wide. Something dark dripped from his tongue. I saved
I thought the Switch version would be tamer. Handheld mode, brightness halfway down, cat on my lap. Comfort horror.
Horror Simulation / Psychological Thriller File Size: 2.1 GB Supported Play Modes: Handheld, Tabletop, TV Mode (Headphones Mandatory)
The demon is among the bodies. You must identify it, perform the correct rites, and survive until dawn. Trust no one. Not the security footage. Not the whispered calls from the cooler. Not even yourself. But the icon stayed on my home menu for three hours