The Orville Apr 2026

Captain Ed Mercer stared at the viewscreen on the bridge of the USS Orville . A shimmering, iridescent cloud the size of Jupiter was currently digesting a small moon. Science scans indicated it was a rogue, non-corporeal lifeform with the cognitive capacity of a mildly ambitious goldfish.

Kelly clapped a hand on his shoulder. “It was a noble sacrifice, Bortus. We’ll have Gordon replicate you a case of something.” The Orville

The Orville plunged into the amber haze. Inside, the cloud was less a digestive system and more a chaotic, slow-motion tornado of space debris and regret. They found the science vessel, the Sagan , its hull coated in a sticky, glowing goo. Captain Ed Mercer stared at the viewscreen on

As if on cue, the Orville shuddered. Alarms blared on Ed’s communicator. “Captain,” came the voice of Ensign Turco, panicked. “The cloud is… licking us. Very enthusiastically.” Kelly clapped a hand on his shoulder

“Okay,” Ed said, leaning back in his command chair. “Standard first contact protocol. Kelly, hail it.”

“It is the only logical choice,” Isaac stated.

Bortus stared at the now-empty bottle in his hands. His voice was a low rumble of loss. “We are safe, Captain. But my vintage is gone.”