A door slams. A lock turns. The screen goes to static.
The original climax happens—explosions, Grossman’s helicopter ballet, the big statue collapse. But then the screen cuts to black.
While hiding in a mud pit, Kirk Lazarus breaks character to ask Tugg: “Wait. Are we… are we in a comedy?” Tugg replies, “No, man. This is a gritty period drama.” A subtitle appears on screen: It is neither. Another subtitle: But the mine is real.
We see Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) in full prosthetic makeup as “Simple Jack,” but the scene is nine minutes long and deeply uncomfortable. After the third “You m-m-m-make me wanna have a b-b-b-baby,” the director (a cameo by David O. Russell , screaming) forces Tugg to do 27 takes. Tugg breaks down sobbing, not as Simple Jack, but as himself. “I sold my soul for a Razzie,” he whispers. The scene ends with a title card: This footage was deemed “too mean for Hollywood” – so we put it back in. Tropic Thunder -2008- -Unrated Director--s Cut-...
Then Les Grossman walks in. He holds up a phone.
The title card slams down over a new cold open:
“Great news, you talentless wonders. The director’s cut just streamed 40 million minutes. They want a sequel. And this time…” He grins. “We’re shooting in .” A door slams
“They still don’t know they’re in a movie… but now you will.”
A black screen. A single sound: “I’m a dude playin’ a dude disguised as another dude.” Then a heartbeat. Then a voice—Kirk Lazarus, still in Sgt. Lincoln Osiris makeup—whispering from inside a shipping container:
“They forgot me here. The director’s cut never ends. Send… craft services…” Are we… are we in a comedy
We hear clapperboards. Lights turn on.
We open not in Vietnam, but at a Tobey Maguire-era Spider-Man 3 press junket, 2007. A nervous Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr., still as the “Australian method actor”) is asked about his controversial “pigmentation alteration” for an upcoming war film. Before he can answer, the screen glitches. A distorted voice— “The director’s cut is not for you. It’s for the people they left behind.” —throws us into a VHS-quality audition tape.
We are on a . The entire jungle was a set. The cast is standing around, exhausted. Kirk Lazarus is out of character, talking to a therapist (played by Paul Thomas Anderson , uncredited). Tugg Speedman is crying into a Booty Sweat can.
