-work- Full Adventure Time Episodes -

I got assigned to “Professional Napper (Consultant).” They pay me to test mattresses. This is the best day ever.

(shivering) Monsters I can fight. Administrative labor … that’s the real dark magic. ACT ONE: THE JAMBOREE (Candy Kingdom Square. A massive job fair. Booths for: Royal Taffy Puller, Gum Gutter Cleaner, Banana Guard Recruiter, and… "Flame Shield Tester" — currently on fire.)

(Jake stretches his ear into a telephone receiver, then his mouth into a speaker.)

(appears from a pocket dimension mattress) You okay, bro? I just got a free foot massage from a pillow person. -WORK- Full Adventure Time Episodes

(Cut to: Finn, back at Tree Fort, doing dishes. But he hums a happy tune. A tiny compost sprout grows from his pocket. End.)

(a grumpy gingerbread man with a hard hat) New meat, eh? Your job: turn this pile every hour. No magic. No swords. Just a pitchfork.

I know stretchy equity. Way better. No sweat. I got assigned to “Professional Napper (Consultant)

(asleep on a podium, drooling) Mmm… pillow people…

(The book opens itself. A holographic projection appears — a young PB, much earlier, with wild hair and soot on her face, building the first Candy Kingdom brick by brick.)

"By decree of Princess Bubblegum: All citizens of the Candy Kingdom must report to the Annual Labor Reassignment Jamboree. Failure to attend = 1 week in the Dungeon of Repetitive Chores." Ooooh no. Administrative labor … that’s the real dark magic

(Beat. Finn’s eye twitches.)

PB, I’m an adventurer. My job is out there! (points to woods) Fighting, questing, saving people!

(a gentle, ancient voice made of rustling leaves and bubble sounds) Heeeero. You turned me. You sweated. You did not use magic. That is the oldest kind of work. Thank you.